Leslie Ford, my wife, was getting it hot and heavy by the man who had been my best friend since age six, thirty years and counting. Talk about cliché's.After the initial yelling and running around trying to find discarded underwear et cetera, I had suggested that instead of my doing something untoward, like beating the shit out of Roger, that we all adjourn to the kitchen to see where things were going to go from here. They'd agreed—reluctantly."Mikey, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you. I didn't mean to, honest to God. I just wish I could make you understand. I'm not planning on leaving you. Please don't think that. In every other way you do it and you do it right for me. It's just that..." she ran out of words."Like what, Leslie? Does he have a bigger dick? What?" I said. I was still so calm. She was actually becoming frightened. "You were planning on staying married to me, just so long as I didn't get too upset over you fucking my best friend? Is that about it?" I said."It's not like. The pile of gold began to collapse on the near-side, like an avalanche cascading down the face of a mountain, unearthing more treasures as it went. After a few moments of this, she righted herself, the cave floor trembling as she landed back on her feet. Iden saw that there were coins lodged between her colorful scales in places, glinting in the torchlight, a fortune’s worth clinging to her like burrs to a sheep. She shook herself, dislodging some of the looser ones, sending a shower of them clattering to the ground where they bounced and rolled away.She noticed him looking, her scaly lips pulling back to expose her teeth in a gigantic smile.“I pay for my meals,” she explained, Iden remembering how the shepherd that he had encountered back in the inn had told of how gold had rained from the dragon’s body. She set off up the winding passage that led to the mouth of the cave, Iden watching the tip of her long tail vanish out of sight, leaving a few solitary gold pieces in her wake.He.
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